As you may have guessed, this adjustment back to our "Canadian" lives has been more difficult than we anticipated. There is only so much you can do to prepare for the changes and then you just have to jump in and let it hit you. And we feel like we've been hit hard.
The guilt of our prosperous lifestyle and rich country threatens to overwhelm us many days. The separation from the place where we feel needed threatens to take over our emotions and cause us to feel upset, hurt, frustrated and alone. We feel alienated from this place that used to be our home; like we don’t belong anymore.
We miss Kenya. Every day. All the time.
And yet we are trying to figure out how we are supposed to adjust to this life here. How we are supposed to get “back to normal”. How to balance our two lives.
This analogy, given to us by an older, wiser and more seasoned missionary ;-) has helped us through this process:
The guilt of our prosperous lifestyle and rich country threatens to overwhelm us many days. The separation from the place where we feel needed threatens to take over our emotions and cause us to feel upset, hurt, frustrated and alone. We feel alienated from this place that used to be our home; like we don’t belong anymore.
We miss Kenya. Every day. All the time.
And yet we are trying to figure out how we are supposed to adjust to this life here. How we are supposed to get “back to normal”. How to balance our two lives.
This analogy, given to us by an older, wiser and more seasoned missionary ;-) has helped us through this process:
“You come from the land of square heads and then you go and live in the land of the round heads. Over time, some of your square angles get rounded off some and you become more of an octagon head. Even though you become more rounded, though, you will still always be a bit square. But when you come back into the land of the square heads, you don't exactly fit any more either. Thus is the saga of a missionary who loves being where God had called him. Never totally square again and never totally round either, but with a broader perspective than ever.”
Enlightening, isn’t it?! It sure was for us!!
We have moved back into our own home, which has been very nice. Trevor has started a new job, working at a John Deere dealership in La Crete, fixing farm machinery. It has been a definite challenge for him, but he is very thankful to have found work. Other than this, we have been spending time with family and friends and are grateful to be able to see them so often now. Life is slowly taking on a new normal and we are slowly learning to stop fighting the changes.
You may be wondering what our plans are for the future…well here it is. We are still looking towards getting back to Kenya as soon as we can, as full-term missionaries with AIM. There are mountains of paperwork to climb first, however, and a lot of things that have to fall into place before that can happen. We’ll keep you updated on the progress of that as soon as we have more to report. For now, though, please keep praying for us in this tedious process. Our hearts can hardly wait to be back in Kenya.
