Fear and Hope

“When I am afraid, I will trust in You.“ Psalm 56:3

Fear. I was struggling with this topic for the next Wednesday morning lesson at the school. How do I really bring this across to kids who have very legitimate and huge fears. (not that other kids don’t have legitimate fears, but I’m talking about a kid who has no parents and nobody to take care of him in comparison to a kid with loving parents and security and safety). What do I say? How can I help them? But even through feeling so scared to present this to them, I felt peace and conviction that this was to be the topic. So Trevor and I prayed about it, and I prepared a lesson on fear.

“When I am afraid, I will trust in You.” This was the memory verse I gave them. I told them that I knew it was short, and very simple to learn. But also that it was so important for them to remember and understand. WHEN I am afraid. Not IF I am afraid, but WHEN. God knows their fears, He understands their pain, their worries, their trouble. And He is telling them that WHEN they are afraid, they can trust in HIM!!

We went through the lesson, and I could feel God working. He gave me words that I had not prepared. He gave the children attentive ears and hearts to hear and understand. They had so much to write in their journals again, and I pray that they will truly look to God as their source of hope and strength in their times of suffering and fear.

Oh to understand what these children go through. We will never truly understand…we have not grown up in a slum. We have not grown up seeing our parents die of AIDS. We have not grown up with abuse being part of everyday life. We have not seen our neighbours killed before us. We have not seen our mothers prostitute themselves just to put one more meal on the table. We have not known starvation. We will never truly understand. But we are praying that God will open our eyes and our hearts to see the suffering. To feel with our whole being what they are trying to show us. To understand.

After the lesson was over, I spent a lot of time bandaging wounds and cuts upstairs in the clinic. And boy was there ever lots of kids who needed attention!! Some of them were so scared to let me clean and bandage their scrapes, but it was so much fun to just talk with them first, get them to feel comfortable, get a small smile or laugh out of them and gain their trust so that they know that I will not hurt them, but I only want to help. The first four girls that I helped were in the Standard (grade) 2 class, and saw it as their responsibility to look for other kids who needed a band-aid or who had a tummy ache! And when they brought them up to me, then saw it as their duty to become my “nurses” and assist wherever they could! It was quite funny!! And so cute!

After school was over I walked over to the Home/orphanage with some of the girls who now live there. I think this was the highlight of my day! I spent time with the girls, took pictures of them on their beds with their new (to them) teddy bears, took silly group pictures together, and just gave them the attention that they so badly lack and crave. The kids in the home range in ages from 3-17. We had so much fun, and I completely lost track of time until Trevor called me to see where I was …it was already 6:30 pm and almost dark out! (I am always home from Mitumba by five pm or earlier!!) So I called Pastor Shadrach, who had also lost track of time (!) and we left the slum shortly after that. As I was walking through the passageways of the slum to get back to the school from the Home, I met several kids that I knew from the school…and all looked so surprised to see me there that late! “Teacher!!” (with a surprised tone!) It was neat for me to see life there, not just the school aspect of it. Girls getting their hair braided in the alleyways. Kids carrying their little brothers or sisters. Man I love those kids!!

It was about 7:30 pm when I got home…and I was so tired, but felt so happy. God is so good. We have this amazing privilege to get to know these amazing kids and pray that God will use us to shine even the faintest glimmer of hope into their lives and help point the way to a deeper relationship with Christ. It is such an honour.

I want to leave you with a quote…written by a boy in the standard 7 class:

“The only one who is able to rescue me from the suffering is God.”

Oh how true.