Esther

I always know when Esther has something important to say. Before she even says it, I know. I know because she takes so long to say it. Typically she is funny, always singing, and always has something to say. But when there’s something really important on her heart, she gets silent.

Esther is twelve years old. Her story is one of heartache and fear. Yet the heartache and fear don’t just live in her past, they live in her present. Every day, she deals with unimaginable hurt and abuse. It was in September when she first opened up to me about her life. And it was in September that I felt my heart start to get cynical, because I felt that there so little I could do for this girl.

You see, when I first met Esther, her eyes were bright. There was laughter in her voice. She was a sweet little girl. But slowly, I began to notice changes in her. At first, it was just that she didn’t seem to sing and laugh as much as she used to. Then it was that her eyes failed to meet mine when we would talk. And her smile completely disappeared. Then it seemed as though these changes in her spirit were physically affecting her body. Her hair seemed dull. Always unkempt. Her skin seemed to get discoloured. Her eyes lost all life. Something was very, very wrong.

I would ask her. She wouldn’t talk. Before I really knew her, I assumed that it was that she didn’t want to tell me, and so I didn’t push her. But one day, I decided that I would sit with her as long as it took for her to open her heart and let me see the pain residing there. So we sat. In silence. Complete silence.

Finally I asked her if she wanted to go back to the school and play. She shook her head no. So we sat in silence again. After many minutes, she said, “I want to talk to you.” But she didn’t talk. And so we sat. I prayed for God to be with this child and her struggles and to give her the courage to speak. Haltingly, she told her story. Piece by piece. Event by awful event.

Since that day in September, Esther and I have been best buds. There is a mutual understanding between us that I know what’s going on in her life and that I am ready to listen whenever she needs to talk. But in my heart, since that day, I have felt like I completely let her down. Because there is so little I can do for her. There is so little I can do to change her situation. I have told the people who need to be told about it, and there is so little that they can do as well. For many reasons (that I can’t divulge), for now, she has to be left in this situation she deals with every day. And it kills me.

I pray for her. I hang out with her. I sit in her home with her. I sing with her. I laugh with her. I talk with her. I listen to her. I hug her. I tell her I love her. And I felt like I was doing NOTHING. Because this child is suffering. And I felt like I was standing by and letting it happen.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I was sitting in her home with her and her younger sister. It was after school and I went to go hang out with them. They wanted to sing songs for me and I readily agreed to listen. So I sat there beside Esther on the hard couch. I waved at the many little children who were peeking through the lacy curtain that serves as a door to this humble home. My feet were resting on the mud floor. My eyes squinted in the dark trying to see Esther’s sister sitting on the bed. My ears were filled with the sounds of these two sisters singing praise songs to the Lord. And I was praying in my heart. Praying for God’s spirit to fill this home. Praying for peace. Praying for all evil to flee. Praying for transformation. Pleading with God. Realizing the power of fervent prayer added to the simple faith of two girls who were filling this home with the name of Jesus.

I was sick on the weekend, and so I didn’t see her again until the following Wednesday. As soon as she saw me, she excitedly came to me and said “Andrea, I have some good news!” I immediately wanted to know, but she wanted to wait until after school to tell me. But her eyes were bright and full of life. And I knew it had to be good, because this girl had life again.

After school came. We walked out of the slum and into the field area. She was silent, but brimming with excitement. And I waited for her to talk. She held my hand. Stroked my fingers. Wanted to talk, but didn’t. And so I continued to wait.

“Do you remember what you said to me last week?” she asked me after many minutes. I say a lot of things {grin} so I didn’t know what she was referring to.

“You told me that you were praying for me,” she reminded me. “And do you know that after last week, nothing bad has happened to me??!” {she explained the details which I don’t want to share on here, but our prayers were answered VERY significantly!!}

I don’t know if my smile has ever been bigger or more genuine after hearing her say those words! I threw my arms around her and we rejoiced together that God had answered our prayers!

“I had a dream about you last week,” she said. “I dreamed that you were really sick and that I prayed for you, and God healed you. Then the next day I heard that you actually were sick, so I prayed for God to heal you and I told everyone that I knew you would be here today because God is going to heal you! And then I saw you today!! Andrea, I always pray for you.”

God was showing both of us the amazing power of prayer! We hugged and danced and laughed together. What a privilege to be a part of this girl’s happiness, and for our God to show both of us how great and mighty He is! This has cemented our relationship like nothing else.

I learned a lesson that day. A lesson about the greatness of our God. A lesson about the intense LOVE He has for His children. But most significantly, a lesson about how when I feel as though I am not doing anything, when I feel like I am “just” praying, that my prayers are going to the ALMIGHTY GOD! That I am not going to the president. I am not going to the chief. I am not going to any parent. I am going to GOD! The only One who is in complete control. And that He hears my prayers. Even when my faith is so weak, He shows me that He cares. He shows me that he heard my cry. And He answered.

In my distress I called upon the Lord;
To my God I cried for help.
From His temple He heard my voice,
And my cry to Him reached His ears.

Psalm 18:6

The Lord is near to all who call on Him;
To all who call on Him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him;
He also hears their cry and saves them.
Psalm 145:18-19