On Being Back...

How does it feel to be back?

I can’t even count the number of times we have been asked this question. How does it feel to be back?

And I can’t even count the number of times that I have not known how to answer.

I don’t know.

It is a very confusing topic to us right now. Our hearts are heavy and filled with so many contradictions. We don’t even know how we feel about anything.

But, let me backtrack a little and fill you in on the last few days or so before we left Kenya:

When I think about leaving, all that fills my head is suitcases, packing, and a very messy house. Overwhelming doesn’t even begin to describe it. Organization is not my strongpoint (well, let’s be honest, it’s not even a point at all in my life!!) and so I didn’t even know where to begin when it came to packing up our last year’s belongings. I am so thankful for Trevor, who basically saved the day. No exaggeration. I had to just leave the house a few times as my wandering from room to room forgetting what I was doing the second before wasn’t helping, and I would come home to him having done so much work and organized everything. He really did most of the work when it came to packing up our stuff, while my head and heart and emotions were a mess. He’s the best!!

Our cell group and friends had a goodbye bash for us the night before we left. It was so great!! We played games…spoons, dutch blitz, charades to name a few!!…ate so much pizza and nyama choma (bbq-d meat), prayed together, had a time of sharing, and laughed endlessly at the words they wrote on our shirts to remember them. It was also the night we got officially named! Yes, that’s right, we now have Kenyan names!! Trevor is Mutuku. It is a Kamba name, meaning “born at night”…which he wasn’t, but the name was thought of at night.. =) My name is Kerubo. It is a Kisii name, meaning “talkative, noisy”…appropriate??! =)
We already miss all these friends so dearly and think about constantly. We love them so much.



Add many last minute shopping trips, meetings and goodbyes with friends, more packing, errands, more market trips, more goodbyes, tears and more tears, and you have a bit of a picture of our last week in Kenya. Ugh.
Many of our friends took us to the airport on Wednesday night. Have I mentioned how great our friends are??!! For real. They helped us with all our things and we said goodbye to them as we waited in line at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. Saks, Dann, Benjy, Gerald, Mwendwa (Franklin!), Stella, Mimie, and James…thank you SO MUCH. You blessed us more than I can say.

Now we know that when the airport’s runway lights aren’t working, that means that there will be definite delays! Haha. We waited at JKIA for about six hours until they had that fixed, so instead of the plane leaving at 11:30 pm, it left at about 4:30 am. We also know that cold hard airport floors shouldn’t be conducive to sleeping, but when you are emotionally exhausted and have not slept for the past few weeks, the cold, hard airport floor can feel like a nice comfy bed and you may have to be poked and pinched to be woken up when the wait is over!! =)
We slept so much of the way home…if felt like any time we sat for any length of time, both of us would instantly fall asleep. Our travels home felt so short, which was a blessing.

Trevor’s parents, and his brother Ryan were at the airport in Edmonton, waiting eagerly for us to arrive. They came equipped with our winter coats for the cold weather! It was really nice to see them, although the weather felt rather shocking. Temperatures of -40 Celsius, when having just come from +30 Celsius, is not very comfortable!!! But we are surviving…

And now. We left Kenya twelve days ago. And it feels like twelve weeks. Maybe even twelve months. Our hearts are longing for Kenya. Aching. Yesterday I said to Trevor, “Today I can’t think about Kenya. Not at all. It just hurts too much.” Physically hurts. There is no doubt that we left our hearts in Kenya. And that it feels so confusing to be here, in Canada.

So how does it feel?

How does it feel to be back?

It’s hard right now. While we have loved reuniting with our loved ones, visiting, spending time together, it has been bittersweet. I have been told that this is normal to feel this way, and I find some comfort in that. To know that these feelings are normal, and even expected. To know that when we can’t even describe how we are feeling and what our hearts are going through, that that is ok. To have that permission to feel a little confused as we find our way into our new normal. That it is normal to bump into a few walls, fall down a few times (or many times), hit a few obstacles as we find our footing.

There is a definite positive side to being in Canada right now though. It’s the fact that we are home with our families for Christmas, which is such a blessing! It has helped with the transition back into this way of life, and we are thankful that we get to be here during this season.

So. That is how we feel. That is where our hearts are at. We know that God has much to teach us as we go through this time, through this season, through these struggles. He is in control. {and we are thankful that He is!!}

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

{Ecclesiastes 3:1-8}

In the Meantime...

Until I process my thoughts enough to write another blog about how we're doing now that we're back in Canada, enjoy a short video clip featuring our kids from Mitumba!!

I taught the Bible class for Classes 4-7 every Wednesday, and here is the class singing "That's Why I Praise You"...

How I miss them...

(more updates about our life to come soon...I promise.)

Goodbye with a Promise

Yesterday was a heartbreaking day. We had to finally say goodbye to our Mitumba youth. It was an evening filled with tears, promises to pray for one another, cries to come back soon, and many, many hugs. It was horrible. It left us physically and emotionally spent, wondering if we had any tears left to cry, and questioning our sanity in leaving this place that we love.

God uses many things to encourage us, though, and one of those things was the story you are about to read below. It was written yesterday by a dear friend of ours, specifically for us. Please read it.

Goodbye. This has got to be the rudest oxymoron in the history of ironies. We do well with good-mornings, good-afternoons, good-evenings...but goodbyes? What kind of wicked word-guru invented that word? What’s so good about saying bye? “Good-riddance” is a more appropriate term when the world is better off when the one leaving leaves. But what if you don’t want them to leave; and they too don’t want to leave, yet circumstances (read “life”) demand their departure?

He looks at the confused faces around him, shadows of despair clouding each face in the room, and his heart begins to feel like lead. He doesn’t know what else to add, they don't understand the words he speaks. Still, they fix their eyes on him, questioning eyes, hungry gazes, expectant faces.... sadly realizing that the worst is about to happen. The one that they had been living for was leaving. Three years is enough time to cement stubborn bonds. One by one, he looks at their scared faces, huddled together like wet kittens, listening to his words of encouragement, his parting words; and as his glance falls on each face, floodgates of memories fill up his mind, welling up his eyes, and drowning his heart with grief...
He turns to see rugged Peter clenching his fists and biting his lips, determined not to believe any word he says. He looks at Peter and a tear streaks a cold-wet-road down his cheek. He remembers the first day he met him...

It was at the Galilean sea-shore; young Simon-Peter was a resourceful, hardworking fisherman and husband. He remembers how the first thing he noticed about Peter was his determined face and his white-knuckled hands hoisting up the sail alongside his more quiet and reserved brother Andrew. He remembers that moment so vividly for it was these features; this innocent bravery, this rugged loyalty and this unrestrained passion that led Him to tell him the words, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men"(Matt 4:19)

Now, he was going to leave behind the one who left behind everything for his ministry. He was going to leave poor Peter all alone. It breaks His heart because he knows that an unrestrained Peter is bound to make so many "careless" mistakes. He wishes he could stay forever on earth, if only to hold Peter's leash and save his life.

Then he turns to scan the rest of the faces in the room, there’s no rest in those faces. He notices that sweet and innocent John is not leaning against him today. He has moved away tonight, it's almost like, well, like he feels he should learn to keep his distance early, because soon, their best friend and teacher will no longer be with them. John is a sentimental guy, and so he does what comes easy for him, he lets his tears flow. Several times before, he's cried upon Christ's shoulders, most recently, beside his mother at Calvary as Christ hung dead, but tonight marks the first of many nights when his tears will be soaked by the cold-hungry-bare-earth. Jesus can't bear to look anymore into the hunched form of his beloved disciple.

So he moves on to the other faces, scared faces, doubting faces, confused faces, shaken faces, discouraged faces, shattered faces... He looks at them and his heart is moved to leave them a promise, one that will sustain them until his awaited return

"I will send you a helper," he chokes out these six words as an introduction to the eternal promise.

John 14:16-19 ; "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live."

Andrea, Trevor; Let these words of Christ comfort you as you leave for home next week, but above this, let them comfort everyone you leave behind.. that BECAUSE ANDREA & TREVOR LIVE, WE TOO CAN LIVE. Because Andrea & Trevor continue to pray, we too can be comforted. Because Andrea & Trevor continue to minister to their God, He will continue to minister to us. Don't cry, and even if you have to leave. Don't stop living. GOD BLESS YOU.

[ Trevor and Andrea Wolfe are African Inland Missionaries and friends who've been staying in Kenya for a little over a year and serving in the Slums of mitumba- Nairobi west among other places. They've been my friends for over 2 months now and members of our BS. Let's pray for them as they leave for Home: Canada ]

Cornell Ngare - 2009

...

Saying goodbye really hurts. It's awful. It's painful. It's heartwrenching.

And yet the pain of saying goodbye means something. It means that there is something and someone to say goodbye to. It means that hearts have connected. It means relationships have been built. It means that we have allowed Kenya to take hold of our hearts.

So in theory, this is a good thing. The pain is a positive sign. But it hurts. A lot.

I'm finding myself withdrawing these days. Letting go already. Not letting myself get hurt. Not allowing myself to care or to cry. Not letting my heart feel what it needs to feel. Not allowing the pain to have any part in this process.

I know that we need to go through the full process of grieving and letting go. We need to feel. We need to hurt. We need to cry. We need to mourn. We need to let go.

We have eight short days left in Africa. Please pray for us. Please pray for our hearts.

Many things have been happening here lately and I will try to update you on those as soon as I can. But i just needed to let you know where we are at with all of this letting go business.

And if you were to ask any of our friends here what we all really think of us leaving Kenya?? The answer you would get is "SHOBOSH!!"

I will explain that one in person for you when we see you...!! :)

Time

Life as we know it is about to change drastically. We only have 16 days left in Kenya. 16 days. That doesn't even sound right, or seem real. We are having a really difficult time with this...it is so hard to think about leaving this home.

There are so many things we are trying to do to make the most of our time...and yet no matter how hard we try we can't change the fact that it is almost over. The goodbyes are looming ahead of us and we can't avoid that. Change is coming.

Kenya to Canada.

Big city to small town.

Compound living to our own yard.

Hot weather to Canadian winter.

Minority to majority.

Ministry to "regular jobs".

New friends to old friends.

Life is changing. And I don't deal with change very well. This is going to be a tough one. We would really value your prayers for us, especially during these next few weeks as we start letting go. My heart almost feels like it's in mourning...even though we are planning on returning to Kenya as soon as we can, this chapter is still closing. And you know that quote that says "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"?? Well, I'm crying because it's over. Just so you know!

Family and friends, we are still really looking forward to spending a lot of time with you and catching up and just being together and especially being home for Christmas...we just have to deal with all the goodbyes here before we can really think about the hellos to come.

Thanks for letting me vent. More to come, I'm sure. : )

A Message From Elly

First of all…we just want to thank those of you who so generously gave to Elly and his sons. The support and concern you showed was overwhelming, and we are just so grateful.

Last week we went to visit Elly and Timothy and Wesley in their home in Kawangware. We hadn’t been there since Violet passed away, and it was quite difficult to go, to be honest. But we knew that we needed to and really wanted to see the boys again. Elly and his sons met us at the road and walked beside our car as we drove into the slum. We parked the car at the usual spot and greeted the boys, who both welcomed us with shy smiles.

Walking through the door of their small home was difficult. Their place has lost it’s life and it’s depressing without Violet there. But Elly has been doing his best to continue to give his sons the best life possible and he is trying so hard. We bought some treats for Wesley and Timothy, and it was so much fun to see them peek into the bag, then close it. Peek into the bag, then close it. Over and over again! They are such sweet boys!! And they have grown so much since we saw them last!! We admired their school work and perused through their test scores and other work that they’ve done. Elly told us the story again about losing Violet and explained the many hardships he has faced since that day. Life has been very cruel.

But you guys, Elly is so incredibly thankful for the financial support you have shown him. He said to tell you that he feels so blessed that you helped him, even though most of you have never even met him. This money will help get him back on his feet and hopefully help him make a new start for him and his sons. He is so thankful for your prayers, and has asked that you continue upholding his family in prayer.

I wish I could better communicate his humble thankfulness, but just know that you have indeed been more of a blessing than you’ll ever fully realize. Thank you for allowing God to use you in this awesome way! You have Elly’s deepest gratitude!!

May God bless you.

Kenyan Wedding!

If you are needing a pick-me-up, something to cheer your heart, or just something to make you really happy…attend a Kenyan wedding!!

We were invited to our first wedding in Kenya! Two good friends of ours, James and Mimie, got married on November 7. It was an incredible day and such a joy to witness their commitment to each other! It was at All Saints Cathedral…a place popular for weddings…there were 3 weddings that day!

James and Mimie’s wedding was supposed to start at 2:00 pm. When we got there, the other couple from the previous wedding was just leaving the Church and taking pictures outside with all their guests still present. So we waited outside with a bunch of our friends until we could start entering the Church. It was about 2:30 when we sat down. Then, much to our surprise, the decorating started! Many people were running around with candles and tulle, aisle runners and flowers, ribbon and bows! So we were entertained as we sat, waiting for the wedding to actually begin! And it should also be noted that even though the decorating was incredibly rushed and frantic, the Church was so beautiful when they were done!!

The ceremony was quite similar to the wedding ceremonies we are used to at home. The most notable difference was that it was just much longer, almost 2 hours long. (It began about 3 pm, and was finished about 5 pm). But other than that, it was really not so different. It was beautiful and very moving to witness.

The reception was held at a place called the Jockey Club…a night reception at an outdoor venue with many white tents covered in white lights…you can imagine the beauty!! We feasted on so much food…a whole lot of nyama choma (bbq meat!) and other great food! The dancing began when James and Mimie got there…it was fun, fun, fun!! All the ladies went to meet them when they arrived and “danced them in” to the reception, complete with traditional songs…it was so great! The party got started and the dancing never ended…well except when the electricity failed and we lost all lights and music for awhile!! It wouldn’t be Kenya without that though…haha!

All in all, it was such an amazing day and we felt so blessed to be there with them. Now we’re excited for the next wedding coming up on Saturday…! =)

Esther

I always know when Esther has something important to say. Before she even says it, I know. I know because she takes so long to say it. Typically she is funny, always singing, and always has something to say. But when there’s something really important on her heart, she gets silent.

Esther is twelve years old. Her story is one of heartache and fear. Yet the heartache and fear don’t just live in her past, they live in her present. Every day, she deals with unimaginable hurt and abuse. It was in September when she first opened up to me about her life. And it was in September that I felt my heart start to get cynical, because I felt that there so little I could do for this girl.

You see, when I first met Esther, her eyes were bright. There was laughter in her voice. She was a sweet little girl. But slowly, I began to notice changes in her. At first, it was just that she didn’t seem to sing and laugh as much as she used to. Then it was that her eyes failed to meet mine when we would talk. And her smile completely disappeared. Then it seemed as though these changes in her spirit were physically affecting her body. Her hair seemed dull. Always unkempt. Her skin seemed to get discoloured. Her eyes lost all life. Something was very, very wrong.

I would ask her. She wouldn’t talk. Before I really knew her, I assumed that it was that she didn’t want to tell me, and so I didn’t push her. But one day, I decided that I would sit with her as long as it took for her to open her heart and let me see the pain residing there. So we sat. In silence. Complete silence.

Finally I asked her if she wanted to go back to the school and play. She shook her head no. So we sat in silence again. After many minutes, she said, “I want to talk to you.” But she didn’t talk. And so we sat. I prayed for God to be with this child and her struggles and to give her the courage to speak. Haltingly, she told her story. Piece by piece. Event by awful event.

Since that day in September, Esther and I have been best buds. There is a mutual understanding between us that I know what’s going on in her life and that I am ready to listen whenever she needs to talk. But in my heart, since that day, I have felt like I completely let her down. Because there is so little I can do for her. There is so little I can do to change her situation. I have told the people who need to be told about it, and there is so little that they can do as well. For many reasons (that I can’t divulge), for now, she has to be left in this situation she deals with every day. And it kills me.

I pray for her. I hang out with her. I sit in her home with her. I sing with her. I laugh with her. I talk with her. I listen to her. I hug her. I tell her I love her. And I felt like I was doing NOTHING. Because this child is suffering. And I felt like I was standing by and letting it happen.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I was sitting in her home with her and her younger sister. It was after school and I went to go hang out with them. They wanted to sing songs for me and I readily agreed to listen. So I sat there beside Esther on the hard couch. I waved at the many little children who were peeking through the lacy curtain that serves as a door to this humble home. My feet were resting on the mud floor. My eyes squinted in the dark trying to see Esther’s sister sitting on the bed. My ears were filled with the sounds of these two sisters singing praise songs to the Lord. And I was praying in my heart. Praying for God’s spirit to fill this home. Praying for peace. Praying for all evil to flee. Praying for transformation. Pleading with God. Realizing the power of fervent prayer added to the simple faith of two girls who were filling this home with the name of Jesus.

I was sick on the weekend, and so I didn’t see her again until the following Wednesday. As soon as she saw me, she excitedly came to me and said “Andrea, I have some good news!” I immediately wanted to know, but she wanted to wait until after school to tell me. But her eyes were bright and full of life. And I knew it had to be good, because this girl had life again.

After school came. We walked out of the slum and into the field area. She was silent, but brimming with excitement. And I waited for her to talk. She held my hand. Stroked my fingers. Wanted to talk, but didn’t. And so I continued to wait.

“Do you remember what you said to me last week?” she asked me after many minutes. I say a lot of things {grin} so I didn’t know what she was referring to.

“You told me that you were praying for me,” she reminded me. “And do you know that after last week, nothing bad has happened to me??!” {she explained the details which I don’t want to share on here, but our prayers were answered VERY significantly!!}

I don’t know if my smile has ever been bigger or more genuine after hearing her say those words! I threw my arms around her and we rejoiced together that God had answered our prayers!

“I had a dream about you last week,” she said. “I dreamed that you were really sick and that I prayed for you, and God healed you. Then the next day I heard that you actually were sick, so I prayed for God to heal you and I told everyone that I knew you would be here today because God is going to heal you! And then I saw you today!! Andrea, I always pray for you.”

God was showing both of us the amazing power of prayer! We hugged and danced and laughed together. What a privilege to be a part of this girl’s happiness, and for our God to show both of us how great and mighty He is! This has cemented our relationship like nothing else.

I learned a lesson that day. A lesson about the greatness of our God. A lesson about the intense LOVE He has for His children. But most significantly, a lesson about how when I feel as though I am not doing anything, when I feel like I am “just” praying, that my prayers are going to the ALMIGHTY GOD! That I am not going to the president. I am not going to the chief. I am not going to any parent. I am going to GOD! The only One who is in complete control. And that He hears my prayers. Even when my faith is so weak, He shows me that He cares. He shows me that he heard my cry. And He answered.

In my distress I called upon the Lord;
To my God I cried for help.
From His temple He heard my voice,
And my cry to Him reached His ears.

Psalm 18:6

The Lord is near to all who call on Him;
To all who call on Him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him;
He also hears their cry and saves them.
Psalm 145:18-19

Two today!

Yes, that's right!

Two new entries in one day :-)
('Reality.' and 'The Story. The Tapestry. The Beauty.')

Consider leaving a comment, shooting us an email (ta.wolfe@hotmail.com), writing us on Facebook, whichever way you wanna do it...let us know if you are reading this blog! We would REALLY appreciate it.. (and while you're at it...let us know what you think of it...what is happening in your life...what God is teaching you...anything!)

It is always so encouraging to hear from you, and to know who we are speaking to through our blog.

=)

And something to make you think:

"Where your talents and the needs of the world cross lies your calling." {Aristotle}

Reality.

What is your reality?

Let me tell you about someone else’s reality. A lot of someones, actually.

Reality for a group of class 7 boys. A free HIV/AIDS clinic comes to the slum. You can get tested. You can know your status. Scary thought when you really don’t know what the outcome will be. When you know that there is a possibility that you are HIV+.

I walked into the class 7 room to see a bunch of boys holding yellow cards and discussing something amongst each other in Kiswahili. They each excitedly held out their cards to me and said “I’m negative!!” The joy. If I could express to you the joy in their voices. And on their faces. “I’m negative!!”

One boy told me that this is the fourth time he has gotten tested. “And I’m still negative Andrea!”

Another boy said that this was his very first time. “And I tested negative, Andrea!!”

I told each of them how happy I was for them. It was an exciting occasion for these.

But what about those who’s result wasn’t what they wanted to hear” To see on their yellow card “HIV+”?? What about those? Their reality will be the fact that they now have to live with this awful disease. They now have to live with the shame. With the disgrace. What about their reality?

There is a small boy in the nursery class. His name is John. He is six years old. He has AIDS. John is so sick. They fear he is in the last stages. He barely eats. His father refuses to take care of him. His mother passed away a few months ago. John is dying. What about his reality? He did nothing to deserve getting this killing disease. He was just born. Born to die. We all are, but not like this. It is difficult to even look at this boy. It is as though his spirit has already left. It is as though he has lost any will to live. It is as though this tiny little six year old boy has given up on life. What about his reality?

What about the two boys in class 6? Born with this disease. Having experienced much discrimination and disgrace already in their young lives, they know what it means to be shunned. To be unwanted. To be unloved. Because of a disease they did nothing to contract. What is going to become of them? What about their reality?

What about those girls who get raped? Many by people in their own family. What about them?? Getting abused is awful enough, but what about when the attack gives them a disease? A disease like AIDS? Their lives have been forever altered. Their future has been forever changed. What about their reality?

Think about your reality.

Think about the reality of these children in this slum.

Please, please remember to pray for them.

The Story. The Tapestry. The Beauty.

It is August 2002. Trevor and I meet for the first time at Eagles Nest Bible Camp. We have both worked at this camp before, but this is the first time our paths have crossed. We see in each other a love for kids and for ministry. Our friendship begins.

And the tapestry has been started.

Jump ahead 3 years to May 14, 2005. We commit our lives to each other in marriage, not having any idea what God has in store for us. We are giddy and happy and so excited for what the future holds. Meanwhile, God has orchestrated our lives to fit together for purposes we could not have imagined.

It is now a few months after our wedding day. It is Missions Conference weekend in our Church. God speaks to both our hearts, and we commit to God “Wherever. Whenever. Whatever.” We don’t really have a clue as to what this will mean. But we say that we are willing to do whatever He may ask of us.

Unknown to us, He is constantly working on this tapestry, weaving the details in ways that only make sense to Him.

It is January of 2006. A Kenyan family has started attending our Church, and they are talking about taking a group of people back to Kenya with them to help in an orphanage. We wonder “is this what God spoke to us about??” We are so excited, and join the group.

Now, September, 2006. We have spent three weeks in an orphanage in Kenya. We loved deeply and completely. We also hurt deeply and completely. Something happens in both of our hearts during that time and we sense a strong assurance that we will be back. We just don’t know how or when or where.

And God is still working.

Missions Conference 2006. God has a way of using these weekends to speak to us, we realize. After a particular Sunday night session, God reveals to us His call in our lives to over-seas missions. We are scared, terrified, frightened, excited. This is it.

It is a few months later. Seven months, to be exact. May 2007. We apply with Africa Inland Mission. We say that we are looking into going to Africa for maybe three months. Or maybe six. We have an interview and our provincial mobilizer asks us if we would consider going for a year. A whole year? We pray about it. And agree. Still not knowing what we will be doing. Or even what country we will be going to. But we are excited.

We have months of waiting. Of paperwork. And applications. Stuff we don’t enjoy doing at all. We are tempted to give up and just stay home. But God doesn’t let us. And so we press on.

Missions conference 2007. We are encouraged to give our all to Christ. Our whole lives. Our whole being. It is just the encouragement we need to keep going.

November 2007 we hear about a possible placement in Nairobi, Kenya. Trevor working as a mechanic. I could get involved in youth ministry. It sounds so great. (even though we don’t want to live in the city, we think we could do it for a year..)

It is December 2007 and Kenya has elections. The following months leave Kenya in turmoil and trouble. They call it “post-election violence”. AIM calls it “possibly unsafe for you to come to Kenya at this time”. We are confused. We felt so much peace to come to Nairobi. What are we supposed to do? We tell AIM that we would still like to come to Nairobi if it is at all possible. Please just let us come. And so they do.

It is September 10, 2008. We leave home. We leave family. It is hard. We begin to wonder what we got ourselves into. We don’t know if we are cut out for this.

The next couple of months are so hard. I don’t have a placement. I don’t have very much love for Kenya. I am so disappointed. Trevor, meanwhile, loves his new job. He gets into his ministry very quickly. He find fulfilment. He feels like he could do this forever. I can’t wait for our year to be done. Little do we know how He is using this to teach us and create intricacies and designs which will only be beautiful later. At this point, we feel like this is a mess. We are a mess.

It is January 2009. We have survived our first Christmas away from home. Away from our country. And something changes. January brings about new life in our hearts and attitudes. It is like we have changed. Especially me. I get involved in ministry in the slum. I see a bit of God’s heart for the children living there. And my heart breaks. And my attitude changes. I can start to see why Trevor wants to do this forever.

We continue to get asked if we are coming back to Kenya after our year commitment is over. We say we don’t know. We say that it’s a tough decision. We say that God hasn’t shown us yet. But deep in our hearts, we know the answer. How could we not come back? But the thought is just so scary to say out loud. So we don’t.

It is June. Trevor gets asked officially if we will consider coming back to Kenya full time. It still sounds so scary to talk about. Such a big commitment. Such a drastic decision. But we know. We’ve known the answer all along. God has been preparing our hearts for so many years and we’ve just been too afraid to take the next step. To follow him completely. To run after Him wholeheartedly. We have been so afraid. So we decide to say yes. It is so scary. It is so exciting. It is so overwhelming. And yet it is so peaceful.

And we are given a glimpse of the beautiful, intricate work God is making of our lives. And it amazes us.

It is the day after our big decision. Satan comes after us. He discourages us. He frightens us. He tires us. He bombards us with doubts. With questions. With petty things that cause us to fight and disagree. He threatens disunity in our marriage. He discourages us in our ministries. We realize what this is and ask people to pray for us. The funny thing is that the very things that satan is trying to use to destroy us are the very things that make us want to be strong. To hold to our decision. To keep our eyes on Christ, no matter the cost. But this battle goes on for months. And we are a mess.

We decide to extend our year commitment by three months. We feel that God is not finished with us in Kenya. We need to stay longer.

It is July. And August. And September. While we are still struggling, we have peace. God is bringing new friends into our lives. God brings us closer to our cell group where we meet with Kenyan friends our age and discuss the Word of God. God gives us a Church family. Not just a Church. But a family. In the midst of the storm, God calms the waves.

And now. It is October. 2009. We have grown to love Kenya. We have grown to deeply love the Kenyan people. We have made very close friendships. We have fallen in love with our ministries. We feel fulfilment. We feel contentment. We feel that we are home. We both do. God has done different things in our hearts, but our stories are intertwined. We are at the same place.

Trevor has built strong, deep ties with his Kenyan co-workers. He has given new life to the shop. He has put his heart into it. Sweat. Blood. Tears. And has seen results. The difference is noticeable. The vision is sparked. The future is bright. The excitement is high. It is more than just a repair shop. It is a place of relationships. It is a place of restoration, but not just on vehicles. It is a place of great potential. It is God’s work. And Trevor is His more-than-willing vessel. It is exciting.

Mitumba slum. The place I have lost my heart. It may be with the girl who has lost her parents who now calls me Mom. It may be with the boy who is HIV+ and struggles every day. It may be with all the youth who inspire me with their questions and commitment. It may be with that little baby who begs for me to hold him. It may be with all those kids who’s parents abuse them every day. It may be with the kids who don’t have enough food to eat. The truth is, each of these and more holds my heart. And I don’t even want it back. I love this place. My heart loves this place. But my heart is also broken by this place.

Now. Only six weeks left. We feel a sense of panic. It feels wrong. We can’t be leaving yet. It’s too soon. We love it here. We are meant to be here. This is where we belong. And yet we know that the same God who has orchestrated our lives from the beginning, the God who sorted out all the problems, the One who showed us His plan piece by piece, the One who not only sees the big picture and gives us a small glimpse of it, but who also takes care of meeting the smallest of our needs….HE is the One who is in control!! He is the One who understands. He is the One who will bring us back to Kenya in His time. He knows! And it is in this that we find peace.

It is in Him that we find peace.

This tapestry God is creating is far from finished. And at many times looks far from beautiful. From where we sit, it looks like a mess. Like it doesn’t make sense. But God in His grace has allowed us a glimpse a time or two. Just a glimpse. He is creating beauty out of our mess. He is creating loveliness out of our confusion. He is creating splendour out of our pain. He is the Master Designer.

It is in Him that we become beautiful.

Rain in Kenya

Growing up on a farm, I got to experience the need for certain weather. Needing rain for the crops. Needing sunshine so the crops would dry. Praying for the snow to hold off for only a few more days so that the fields could be cleared. Knowing that nasty weather could cause the newborn calves to die (or at least freeze off their tails and ears).

And yet, there was never a time where the weather caused us to starve. Or go without food for any length of time. Or caused our animals to starve. There was never a time where we needed rain for our very survival. Nobody in my family ever died for lack of rain. None of my neighbors ever suffered to the point of not being able to feed their children because of a drought. Do you get what I'm saying? To pray for rain because your survival, and the survival of your family and animals depends on it. To be desperate. To need it.

Kenya has been crying for rain. Kenya and her people have been suffering. Kenya's people have been dying. There are some places, especially in northern Kenya, where all the goats and sheep have died a long time ago, and now the camels are starting to go. When the camels start to die, you know there is an intense lack of rain. Lack of rain= lack of food. It's a terrible problem.

But...God has been answering the cries for help, and we have been receiving wonderful, wonderful rain! It is finally raining in Kenya!! There is just something about the joy on people's faces when the rains come. Such a direct answer to prayer! Please continue to pray for rain all over Kenya...not all of Kenya is receiving this blessing yet.

On that note as well though...we are also expecting to experience an El Nino to strike Kenya sometime soon. This would not be a good thing. Words like: torrential rains. flooding. washing away the topsoil. evacuations. drowning. These words are being used to describe the effects that this El Nino could have on Kenya. So please pray for "good" rain in healthy doses. People still talk about the last El Nino that hit Kenya, and it was a terrible time. So we need your prayers.

We are learning what it means to truly rely on God...and what it means to truly praise Him. Our God is mighty!! He is Mighty to Save.

Everyone needs compassion

A love that's never failing, let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour, the hope of nations

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save
Forever, author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures, fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in, and now I surrender, I surrender

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save
Forever, author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save
Forever, Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave

Shine Your light and let the whole world see, we're singing
For the glory of the risen King, Jesus
Shine Your light and let the whole world see, we're singing
For the glory of the risen King
{Hillsong}

The Trip

Where to begin? It’s been a long time, and feels even longer since I last wrote here. I have realized a few things about myself these last few weeks, one of them being the fact that even though I do not consider myself a planner or organizer, I do need preparation time. I always thought I was more of a “spur-of-the-moment” kinda girl than I actually am.

Leaving Kenya so quickly was rough. We felt as though we were in a fog for a good portion of our time in Canada. It’s like we were in a different place physically, but our minds and hearts couldn’t quite catch up. One day we were doing the “Kenya thing” and the next we were on a plane bound for the North American continent. Strange, strange feeling. One I wouldn’t recommend.

We were really thankful that we made the decision to go home for Bobbi’s funeral, regardless of how strange it felt to be leaving Kenya. It felt like the right decision, and the chance to spend time with her family and the rest of my family, just remembering her, made it worth it. She was such a special person, and my childhood memories are filled with hilarious events and times of exaggerated imaginations with Bobbi. We had so many good times…my life was definitely sweeter because of her. The funeral and memorial services were hard, though. It made the events of the past week hit home. It was reality. Bobbi was really gone. I hate it. And yet I know that she is with Jesus. I know that her life here on earth was but a shadow of the life she has now. I know that she is Home. And yet it still hurts to have lost her here. Please continue to pray for her husband, Justin, and her parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews. She was deeply loved and is now deeply mourned by those who loved her most.

The rest of our time in Canada involved a lot of visiting with friends and family and a lot of eating of really good food! It was a good time of catching up and ended up being a time of refreshing in our hearts. We needed a break more than we even realized and God used this unexpected trip home to give us that. It also turned out that we were able to be home for our niece Halle and nephew Hosea’s birthdays, which was also really special. We had a lot of fun with different people, having coffee, hunting, an early Thanksgiving meal, visiting until the early morning hours, laughing, crying, and just enjoying the people that we love so much. And by the way…Canada is colder than we remembered…we have become complete wimps and consistently complained about the -2`C weather…!! =)

Trevor and I with our nieces, Makena and Halle

...and with our niece Samala, and nephews Jorrell and Hosea

Loramie (sis), Rea (sis-in-law), Anj (sis-in-law) and I

However, even with thoroughly enjoying the family, friends, food and fall season at home, we were ready to come back to Kenya. (and not just because of the warmth, either, although it sure helped!) We were really missing our friends, Kenya home, ministries, and just life here in Nairobi and most of all just knew that our purpose here in Kenya wasn‘t finished and we needed to get back to our normal life.
So on Thursday, October 8, our adventure back to Kenya began…

Seriously. Who ever said adventure was a good thing? We had one of “those” travelling experiences that make you just wanna say “are you SERIOUS??!” What a trip.

Every one of our flights was delayed. Every. Single. One. The first from Grande Prairie to Edmonton was delayed because of the weather. (we were home for the first snow storm of the year…yay!) So we waited in the GP airport for at least an hour. Then our next flight from Edmonton to London was rather nightmarish. We had boarded the plane, and were waiting to take off. And we waited. And waited. And waited. Till the captain made an announcement about the plane experiencing left engine failure. And that the mechanics were checking it out. Nothing like already being on a plane and realizing that you really are putting your life in these mechanics {hopefully} capable hands!! So we waited some more, only to be told that this was NOT something they could fix now and we would have to de-plane and wait for another plane to be brought in from Vancouver. Next departure time being 2:30 am. Awesome.

We were a little worried about not making our next connection from London to Nairobi, but thought, well, if this plane leaves on time, then that gives us a little over an hour in London, and we COULD make it. So we used our meal vouchers from the airline and had a nice meal at Chili’s and hung out in the airport for the next four hours.


But, you guessed it, another complication. We had boarded the second plane of the day in Edmonton. And waited to take off. And waited. And waited. And waited. Till the captain made another announcement “I’m sorry, ladies and gentlemen, we seem to be having another unusual problem with this aircraft…” wow. Seriously. Something about a problem with not having enough fuel to get all the way to London…

After a long few hour wait sitting in the airplane, we finally were able to take off. We arrived in London in time to see our next connection take off without us. Awesome. Too much confusion later, we ended up in a hotel in London for the night.

Welcome to rainy London...

waiting for the train at London Heathrow Airport

The next morning we took a bus back to London Heathrow, then a train to our terminal. After we had boarded our plane….oh yeah, another delay. This time it was something to do with the runway. The lady sitting next to me, after I told her about our previous flight issues, said “then this is your fault. It’s something about you that’s making this plane delayed too. You’re bad luck.” Thanks, lady. That makes me feel so much better.

But we arrived safely in Nairobi, which in itself felt like a miracle after the frustrating experiences of the last few days! 10:00 pm Saturday night was a welcome time!! Hello Kenya! But the “bad luck” didn’t end with coming to Kenya, apparently. Our luggage decided to stay in London. Of course! We just had to laugh. Seriously. It would have been too good to be true had something actually gone right!! We did all the necessary paperwork at the baggage claim, and then had two wonderful friends come and pick us up at the airport. Thanks Saks and Dann!! =)

So now…Trevor’s bag has arrived…and mine is still who-knows-where! I’m trying to have a good attitude about it. It’s just stuff. Just possessions. Nothing that really matters. (do you hear my trying to convince myself?! Ha) but really, God has been showing me a lot of things in the last few days and making me realize what is truly important. So I’m trying to see it from His perspective.

We are now trying to get over jet-lag and enjoying the wonderful Nairobi weather!! It’s been so good to see all our friends again and get back into “Africa-mode”. More updates to come soon.

God is good.

When the Unexpected Happens...

We are leaving Kenya for two weeks to go back to Canada for a visit.

My (Andrea) cousin Bobbi passed away unexpectedly on Monday. We really felt like we needed to go home and spend time with family and be there for her funeral. This is so hard for me to deal with and to even imagine that it's really happening. She and I grew up together and have SO many memories. I have been in a state of shock ever since we got the news.

This all feels so strange and it's hard to just go with it...we had not planned on leaving Kenya for another couple of months, and now have been frantically planning our visit home in a very short time. But we do feel peace that this is the right thing for us to do, and we are thankful that we are able to make this work. Thanks so much to our families for helping us out in this way.

Please pray for Bobbi's family as they go through this tremendously difficult time. Pray for her husband, Justin, as this is something nobody should ever have to go through. They need your support. So please remember them in prayer.

Pray for us too, as we fly out of Nairobi tomorrow morning, and land in Grande Prairie on Thursday afternoon. Pray for safety and for good flights and transitions.

Above all, please just pray that God would be glorified in this situation.

Thank you.

Mark

Trevor and Mark

Benedicto, Rueben, Mark, Trevor and Steven

The TAM shop will be seeing some changes in the near future...

Mark, the young man from Sudan who has been working with Trevor and the other men in the shop, has received his Refugee Resettlement documents and will be leaving Kenya on Tuesday and moving to Missouri, USA.

This is something that he has been working towards for a long time, and he is really looking forward to starting this new chapter of his life. While Trevor is excited for him, he will also really miss working with him every day.

We know that Mark has a bright future ahead of him, and know that he will be a blessing to anyone he will meet, no matter where he goes.

Please remember Mark in your prayers...life as he knows it is about to drastically change. He is quite nervous and apprehensive about all the adjustments that come with moving to a new country. But we know that he will be okay...he has already persevered through so much hardship and has worked harder than anyone else we know to get to where he is today. He has an incredible story and God has seen him through many obstacles.

So, we will say goodbye to Mark for now. It will be sad, and he will be greatly missed. But who knows when and where we may see him again...this may call for a trip to Missouri when we get back to North America...did someone say "road trip"??? :-)

When Children Suffer

Lately we have had to deal with many issues with the kids in Mitumba. More and more difficult situations are coming to light. More and more kids and youth are disclosing information about their lives. We are having to listen to stories of abuse. Beatings. Kids fearing for their lives because their step-mothers are trying to kill them. Kids running away to get away from the abuse. All kinds of atrocities that kids should never have to go through. And through it all, we are having to encourage them and point them to Christ while at the same time we ourselves sometimes question why God is allowing these things to happen to these precious ones.

This morning I was reading “Safely Home” by Randy Alcorn. If you have not read this book…read it! It is about the persecuted Church, and focuses on China. It brought me to tears, as it does every time I read it. It also gave me some perspective on God’s heart for His people, and in this case, children specifically. I want to leave you with an excerpt from the book:

The King drew them into the surface of His vast mind, that they could see what He saw - children abandoned and living on streets, abducted, beaten, molested, cut to pieces by men dressed in white, exterminated by human pesticides.
“See that you do not look down on one of these little ones,” the King said, projecting His voice toward the dark world so loudly it was heard on earth as thunder. “For I tell you that their angels in heaven always behold the face of My Father.”

The King pointed to a church custodian yelling at children unauthorized to play on the swings and chasing them away. “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
The King spoke to people out for Sunday dinner after church, who turned away from the street children. “Your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.”

Then He watched a man and a woman taking children off the streets, bringing them into a building, giving them a warm meal and a cot and safe refuge, and telling them about their Master. On the other side of the planet, in Africa, He watched His people caring for children born with AIDS, many of them orphans now, or soon to be.
The King nodded His approval. “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in My name welcomes Me.”
He watched His people give children a warm bath, read stories to them, hug them, and laugh with them. He smiled broadly. “Thank you,” the King whispered, “for doing this to Me.”

He looked now at men plotting and stalking and taking pictures of children, doing to them the unthinkable. He looked at men herding frightened little girls together and selling them to foreigners. He looked at the men in white coats, driving beautiful cars purchased by the blood of children. He looked at those who inflicted the suffering. His eyes smoldered.
“I made these children. I took them into my arms, put my hands on them, and blessed them. And yet you scorn them, use them for your gain, treat them as disposable. It would be better for you to have a millstone tied around your neck and be thrown into the sea than to face what I will surely do to you.”

He looked now at others who turned their heads from the children, too busy to share a meal, a blanket, or a pay check. They did little or nothing to help the children, and he regarded their failure to help as the inflicting of harm. “To you who look the other way, saying My children are not your concern: Repent! For it is I you have turned away from. I will not forget.”

He gazed at another group of people, those watching out for and reaching out to and helping the children. He said simply, “Well done. Your reward shall be great.”
The King watched the children again, though the men knew He had never stopped watching them. For a moment He smiled, then laughed; then suddenly He saw something else. Tears flowed from His eyes; then they burned with blistering heat.
“Many on earth look away from the children,” said Li Tong to Fu Liko. “But the eyes of heaven never look away from them. Never.”

We truly believe that God knows what is happening to these kids. We believe that it hurts His heart when they suffer. We believe that it makes Him angry when they get abused and mistreated by people they are supposed to be able to trust.

Knowing this somehow gives us hope. Even realizing that it doesn’t mean their situations will change, but knowing that the Father knows. He has not turned His face away. He knows. And one day, He will make it right.

Please pray for our kids. They are suffering greatly.

Brothers

Duke and Michael.

The younger boy is the one who was lost for those few months, and who is now back with his family in Mitumba.

Michael

This family still really needs your prayers. Even though Michael is back, his mother is still not stable, and is still on medication. Just the other day, Duke came screaming into the school courtyard...his mother was allowing someone else to beat him. While we are so thankful that Michael was found and is home, he is still not always safe. Please pray for these young boys.

Could You Help?

I want you to imagine something with me.

Imagine that you live on a farm. Imagine that you have worked hard from the time you were young, gone to school for awhile as a child, but then could never finish school because of the work and too many school fees for your parents to pay.

Imagine that you marry. But as you are still struggling, you don’t have enough money to pay the dowry required by your fiancé’s family. You are still allowed to marry her, granted that you will pay the dowry at a later date.

Now imagine that you move to the city. You don’t enjoy the city or have any desire to live there, but because of the difficulties in making a living on your farm, you have no choice. When you get to the city, you move to a slum. You find yourself a tiny, one room house made of iron sheets, surrounded by thousands of other houses just like this one. A lot of danger and difficulty comes with moving to a place like this, but you can’t afford anything else, because even with this incredibly small and awful place, you still have to pay rent.

You and your wife have two children. Boys. With both of those births come many complications and you nearly lose your wife both times. Your relationship becomes strained and a wall goes up between you after these difficult years and your relationship never fully recovers.

During this time, you are struggling to make a living to feed your family. You find a good job…but a good job for an uneducated person still won’t make ends meet. You make 550 shillings a day. About $9. So some days there just is no money for food. Yet you struggle to give your children the best life possible. You vow that they will go to school so that they can have a better chance. You promise them that they will get the things that you never had. They will get an education. They will make it. They will prosper. And so you fight. And you struggle. School fees are so expensive. And there are the uniforms to pay for. The school supplies to buy.

Imagine now that your wife gets sick. So sick. Her body is weak and frail. She is only in her mid thirties and yet she does not have the energy to get out of bed. She cannot make food for the family. So you work even harder to get extra money for the medical expenses. You worry. You pray.

It’s Christmas Eve, 2008. You nearly lose your wife. You spend the Christmas holidays in the hospital. She doesn’t die, but is still so very sick. Your boys are constantly worried. Especially the younger one, who is only three. He doesn’t understand why his mama is so different and why she does not even have the strength to speak to him.

The months go on. Your hope begins to grow as your wife is regaining her strength day by day. The medications seems to be working. You begin to make plans as a family for your future. The sun seems to be shining on you again. You begin to dream of a better life. You decide to move your family back to the country. Back to the farm. You want to raise your boys close to your family. You want them to learn skills that they will not learn living in a slum in the city. You work hard.

It’s July 2009. Your wife’s health has suddenly taken a turn for the worse again. You spend more money on hospital bills and ask people to pray. She will get better, you are sure of it. After all, she did before.

It’s Wednesday, July 29. Your wife has died. You don’t understand. Why?? Why me??
You begin the process of laying your wife’s body to rest. You have no money for all these things. It costs so much money. People rally around to help. You have to find a coffin. Something not too expensive. So you barter on a price.
You have to find a vehicle to transport your wife’s body back to her home in the country. This too, is so expensive.
You have to provide food for everyone who comes to the funeral. And not just a little bit of something for people to snack on. But good food. A lot of it. Including costly food like meat.

Imagine that during this time of grief and mourning, your wife’s family is not supportive of you. In fact, they actually come to your house and steal your things. They steal your camera that you were using to make extra money as you were learning photography. They steal your wife’s clothing. They steal your boys’ clothing. They even steal their school uniforms. They take whatever money your wife had before she died. They take all your ID.

They claim that it is all rightfully theirs. And yet, during all these years of struggle for you and your wife, they were never there to help. Even though they lived in the city, they never cared enough to even come to your house. Your father in law has now insisted that you also pay the dowry. The dowry that you could not afford before you got married. It is a lot. Money plus animals.

You now have to decide what you are going to do. How will you continue to make a living to provide for your children? How will you be there for your boys when you have to work? How will you make it? What is best for your boys?

Your boys miss their mother. They don’t understand. They ask for her everyday. You have begun to tell them that she will be here tomorrow, just so that you can see them happy again. But you know that you can’t keep up those stories forever. You don’t know how to break their hearts all over again.

How will you pay for your kids schooling? How will you pay someone to come to the house to cook and clean and be home when your boys come home from school, the things your wife used to do? What about when your children get sick? You have no extra money. None. There is no savings account. Or that extra money tucked away for emergencies. There is no money. What will you do when the unexpected things happen? And there is still that dowry to pay.

I am asking you to imagine these things with me because they are real. This is Elly’s story. You remember hearing about him in previous months? He works on our compound as a gardener. We have grown to love him and his family throughout our time in Kenya.

I looked into his bloodshot eyes, shiny with tears, as he asked me for help this afternoon.

“I tried so hard to save Violet’s life,” he told me brokenly. “I tried so hard.”

“I have some questions I want to ask God at the final judgement. I have a lot of questions for Him. Why me? After all my years of struggle, after all the things we’ve gone through…now death? Now you take my wife? We had plans! Is this a punishment? Because if it is, it feels like it is just too harsh.”

Elly needs your prayers. His two sons, Wesley and Timothy, need your prayers. I cannot even explain to you the look in his eyes. Hopelessness. Defeat. Despair.

I don’t want to have you read this story and just think that it is a story that is supposed to tear at your heartstrings. Because yes, I hope that it makes you feel for this family. But I want you to realize that this is real. This is LIFE for a widower and his children. He is only thirty-five years of age. His sons are age six and three.

If by reading this story you feel that you could and should help financially, please send us an email at ta.wolfe@hotmail.com. We have an account that you could put money into and we can access it here and give it to Elly. Any amount would be so much appreciated.

Please, this dear family needs us to stand behind them. They need us.

"I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end
His word declares this truth:
That we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place will be no more
We’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day we’ll hold on to You always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
‘Cause joy and peace He brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

I can’t wait until that day where the very One I’ve lived for always
Will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery
This is why, this is why I sing

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place will be no more
We’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day we’ll hold on to You always "

{There Will Be A Day. Jeremy Camp}

Eternity in Our Hearts

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

Sometimes we get a glimpse of eternity. You know. When you realize that you were made for something more. When you can see beyond the day-to-day. When God speaks something so incredible into your heart, and you see. You realize. You are awestruck by knowing that God is doing something! It’s like you can see past the earthly things, the mundane things, the temporal things…and you get a glimpse of the bigger picture. And it makes you think about Heaven. And what it will be like. And you are not satisfied with what used to satisfy you. The material things. The secular things. The things of this world.

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world. {CS Lewis}

We have been studying Ecclesiastes with our cell group from our Church. God has been teaching us a lot through this study…and we are only on Chapter 3!
Trevor was asked to lead the chai time devotions this past Wednesday at the hangar. (Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, someone will lead the devotion time for everyone who works at the AIM hangar.) Trevor talked about this verse, Ecclesiastes 3:11...and he used this story of what happened to me this week as an example:

It was on Monday. I needed to go to the store and had a random collection of things going through my head as I was getting ready to go. One of those things was wondering if I would see any street kids on my walk. This is something that happens frequently and we often don’t quite know what the correct response should be when we are confronted by dirty children holding out their hands to us and begging for money. This sounds like the answer should be easy. Just give them something. But it’s not that simple when you get to know the problems with this “solution”…and as terrible as this will sound, we have also gotten so used to seeing this that it becomes “normal” and our hearts have started to become calloused. Lately though, I’ve been challenged to really, truly and seriously be God’s hands and feet to those I meet, especially these kids. We often compare them to our kids in the slum, knowing that many of our kids have had experience with this sort of lifestyle…and for us, that makes it personal. These kids need to know that someone cares, and we have felt convicted to be that someone who cares.

Back to the story. Before I left the house, I put half a loaf of bread in my purse. It felt funny to do that, but for some reason (yes, I know that it was God!!) I thought I might have use for it on my walk. I put on my sunglasses, and started on my way.

I was not so far from the store after walking about ten minutes, when I saw them. Two boys. Coming my way. Bedraggled. Grubby. Hands palm up. In my face.

“Madam, please give us something. Madam, please.” My first instinct? I wanted to continue walking. I really wanted to. Then I remembered. I remembered!! “Andrea, what is your correct response to this situation? Don’t you have bread in your purse for this exact reason??”
Oh right. Okay.

I stopped. Took off my sunglasses. Smiled at them. They stared at me.

“Jina lako ni nani?” What is your name?
“James.”
And to the other boy...”Jina lako ni nani?”
“Joel.”
They are still staring at me. Not sure what to think.

I reach my hand in my purse and take out the bread. I make eye contact with each of them, and hand over the bread. In the process, I drop an object that had fallen out of my purse. Both of them immediately said “Oh sorry!” as I bend down to pick it up. I smile at their concern.

They take the bread that I give them, look at me and say “Thank you”.

I say “Karibu”. (you’re welcome.)

They slowly leave, and so do I. We both look back at each other as we walk away. And smile.

I continue on. Go to the store. Do what I came to do. Buy what I need to buy. But all along I am thinking about two boys named James and Joel. Who are they? How old are they? Are they brothers? Why are they on the street? I buy another loaf of bread, the Supa Loaf brand. Just in case.

As I head back home, arms full with my Nakumatt bags, I see something out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head and see two boys running my way. James and Joel?? Yes, it is them. My first thought was that they were back to beg for more stuff. But no.

James caught up to me first.

“Madam, you asked us our names, but you never told us your name!!”

Seriously?? This kid came up to me to ask me my name?? Not to ask me for anything? My heart has started to melt.

“My name is Andrea!” They ask me to repeat it, so I do.

They try it out. “Andrea.”

I start to visit with them. I ask them how old they are, (they are 11, and 12), if they are brothers (they are), if they go to school (they do) and other things. We smile and laugh and talk excitedly. They ask if I remember their names, and when I say “You are James and you are Joel” they both smile and nod. I ask them if they will remember my name the next time they see me….

…And they say “You will come back? We will see you tomorrow??”

Seriously, God, what are You doing to my heart???

The look on these dirty boys’ faces, the light in their eyes, the connection my heart made with theirs was almost more than I could take. Eternity. Right here.

I was made for this. And I was made for so much more.

“He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

We were made for more. Even though God has set eternity into our hearts, we still cannot fathom what He has done. We can’t. But we know. We KNOW that we were made for more than the things we often live for. The earthly. The temporal.

It’s when we get these glimpses of what God is doing. Of what God can do with a heart fully yielded to Him. A picture of the difference we can make. Of what life is really about. A glimpse of what He has called us to. A glimpse of eternity.

We know that we are made of different stuff than when we began.

But we also know that we were made for more.

Eternity in our hearts.

The Lost Has Been Found!

I first have to say that we can NEVER underestimate the power of God!! We have been reminded of His sovereignty and His greatness this week!

Do you remember me telling you about the little boy, Michael, who was taken by his mother who had a mental breakdown and couldn’t remember where she took him? That happened in June, and we had completely given up hope of ever finding him.

Well, you know where this story is going, right?? HE IS BACK!! And completely unharmed and healthy!

Here’s the story of his return, as it was told to us:

His mother, Betty, hadn’t given up on finding him, and for some reason (I don’t know all the details) had gone to another lady who has been praying about this situation. This lady told Betty that God had revealed to her that Michael was in another slum and that they should go there to look for him. So Betty went to this place…and found that her son has been taken care of by a lady there! She had kept him healthy, and even took him to school (and exclaimed about how well he has been doing there, and what a bright boy he is!) Isn’t that incredible??!!

All this time, God has been using this lady to take care of little Michael. And after two months, He brought him back to his family. God knew where he was all along and never stopped taking care of him. Seriously amazing.

It gives me chills just to think about it.

What a privilege it is to serve a God who not only holds the whole world in His hands, but who cares about a lost little boy from the slum.

A Little Bit of Everything...Including the Weather!

I thought it was time to give you another general update on how things are going here. It’s unbelievable to think that we should be going home next week, as our first departure date was set for August 31. We are very thankful for the extra three months that we have here in Kenya (although we have been talking about home a lot these days and are really looking forward to seeing all of you again!!). Needless to say, we are filled with mixed emotions most days!

• Life at the hangar seems to be slowly getting back to “normal”, although it will never be the same as it was before the crash. AIM AIR voluntarily grounded all their planes after the crash on August 1st in an effort to be there for the Toews and Williams families and to be able to properly assess what needed to be done. Last week they started flying again, although the investigations about what happened are still on-going. Please pray for AIM AIR and all the things they have to deal with.
  
• The memorial service that we had for Ryan Williams on August 15th was another beautiful and God-honouring service. God has been giving so much grace and strength to Dawn and it has been so evident in her testimony. Dawn and her kids, and Tiffany and her kids really need your prayers as they work on plans for what they are going to do and make big decisions about their future. There will be long dark days ahead for them, but we know that God can and will sustain them. They have been such a testimony to us all.


• The weather here seems to be finally warming up some. I don’t even know if I mentioned it before, but July and August are the coldest months of the year in Kenya. We have been experiencing Kenyan winter! And you may laugh and say that surely it can’t get very cold, but I’m here to tell you that it does! Many days we left the house in the morning wearing thick sweaters, socks and shoes, scarf (for me!), and shivering like crazy! The houses here are not insulated and heated like the ones at home, which also makes a huge difference. But…I think that the air is finally warming up, which I am very thankful for!
  
• Kenya is still going through a severe drought. There has been an intense lack of rain, and Kenya’s people are suffering. Many areas have people are dying from starvation. Many animals have been dying. The ground is dying. Kenya is suffering. There is a severe food shortage in many parts of Kenya as well. Please pray for rain for Kenya. It is not the rainy season right now, but God can still make it rain!
  
• Oh…and we are also on a power rationing schedule. Yeah it’s great. Monday, Wednesday and Fridays the power goes off at 6:00 am and comes back on at 6:00 pm. The other half of the city is off on the other three days, and Sunday is a no-rationing day. It’s been something to get used to and quite frustrating at times…but the good thing is that at least we can prepare for it because of the schedule. The reason for this power rationing is because most, if not all, of the power for the city is produced by hydro-electric dams, and because of the lack of rain we’ve been having, the water levels in the river have been too low for the hydro-electric dams to produce enough power for everyone to have electricity at the same time. Add our water rationing to that, and we’ve been having to conserve and save and plan a whole lot more than we’re used to.


• Trevor’s work at the TAM shop is never ending, it seems. One of these days I want him to write a blog entry about his days at the shop and the things he deals with…so wait for that! =) There is only so much that I can write about that, as I am not there to see what actually goes on during his days. He does have someone now to help him with paperwork and the administration side of things, which has been really nice for him. The days that he actually gets to put on his coveralls and get his hands dirty are the days that he is happiest! =)
  



• The kids in Mitumba are on a school break right now. The school terms are different here than they are in Canada…the school year starts in January, with the first term being January, February and March. April is a break. Then the second term is May, June, and July. And August is a break. Then the third and last term is September, October and November, and December is a break. But during their breaks, they have what’s called “tuition” (for the higher classes). Tuition is basically just extra work, maybe kind of like summer school, or tutoring. These kids work so hard, I tell ya! It’s crazy sometimes to see how much pressure is put on them in school. So right now they have tuition. The days that I go to Mitumba, I still work in the clinic, but I’m not as busy there as there are less kids around. I’ve actually really enjoyed this slower time in Mitumba, as I have been able to spend a lot of time hanging out with them, having lots of time to talk about their lives, visiting them in their homes, having some of the young girls teach me how to make Kenyan food like ugali, playing crazy tag through the slum corridors with some of the older boys (dangerous, don’t try this at home!! Ha)…it actually is really fun, trying to avoid the sharp iron sheets that make up the walls for the houses, trying to not trip on the uneven ground, swerving around the crazy corners, trying to not slip on all the garbage and other “stuff” on the ground, attempting to not get lost in the maze of slum houses…it’s a riot! And all the while having the mamas and little babies watching this game, and I’m sure thinking “what a crazy mzungu!” It was so much fun! But seriously, though, I’ve had a lot of time for good conversation and meaningful encounters with the youth during this more relaxed time of holiday…something I’m so thankful for. They are continually teaching me so much about their lives and their hearts, and God has really been using them to change me.
  
• The Youth Bible Studies in Mitumba have also been going really well. I’ll give last week as an example. We split up the boys and the girls. Trevor and the guys talked about relationships, temptations in relationships and the different struggles that guys go through. He ended the study with telling them the story of our relationship, which they LOVED! I wish I could have been there! =) He said that they were so interested in hearing about it, and were so involved in the story. It was a time where they were really able to bond together as guys and so good for the youth to get to know Trevor better and connect with him on another level. Lately there had been some of the oldest youth boys that weren’t coming on a regular basis, but on Saturday most, of not all, were there! What an exciting time. Being able to help them, encourage them, be real and honest with them, and stand with them in the struggles and temptations they face every day.
• During this time, I met with the girls. We talked about the importance of bonding together and standing together as girls. We read the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet, and I used that illustration of Jesus serving His friends in this lowly way as an example to us to serve our friends. I brought out the bucket of water as the girls all looked at me with questions in their eyes! I told them that today, we would wash each others feet. We would serve each other. Then I brought out the yummy-smelling foot scrub and lotions and pink and purple nail polish and said that we would also make ourselves look and smell pretty! Their faces immediately lit up and they began to talk excitedly amongst themselves! It was such a nice time of “girly-ness” and having fun and bonding. After I had told them what we were going to do, immediately “my girl”, the girl in the previous blog entry, came to me and whispered in my ear “Andrea, I want to wash your feet.” My heart melted. What a girl. The funny thing was that after most of the girls were done and Trevor’s Bible study was finished too, the boys came to our classroom to see what we were doing. A few of them came in and sat down in the chair and wanted to wash their feet using the pretty foot scrub and lotion! It was so funny! But what took the cake was that they also wanted to paint their fingernails using the hot pink nail polish…I drew the line with painting ONE of their nails each…! We love our crazy fun youth!

So…that’s a bit of a glimpse of what our life consists of these days. We are doing well, for the most part, and trying to make the most of every opportunity, knowing that our time left in this beautiful country is quickly coming to an end. (for now!)
Thank you so much for all your prayers and support, and to those of you who have left us notes of encouragement and let us know that you are thinking of us and praying for us. It means so much to us, more that I can even say. You have helped us through these past few months of difficulty and we thank God for you and pray that He will bless you abundantly for supporting us so faithfully. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

We love you!